Please Don't Say You Love Me
by lyslys31
Summary: Arizona is in Africa and Callie is not. What happens when Callie gets a call in the middle of the night? Post 7x07 Africa breakup.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So I'm going a little stir crazy waiting for this hiatus to end so I thought I would write a little something to calm my crazy. It's an oldie but goody. Enjoy :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Callie stepped out of the steamy bathroom, her eyes red and raw from the tears she let flow freely and mix with the warm water that fell down around her. She mindlessly went through her nightly routine, slipping on the pajamas that had become a size too big for her, a stark illustration of all of the weight she had lost. After turning off the overhead light, she pulled back the covers and slipped into her painfully empty bed.

Empty. Just like she felt.

She couldn't even describe the emotions she felt anymore. Everything seemed to be consumed by the giant void that had formed inside of her.

It was crazy to think that just a few weeks ago that void was filled with the greatest thing Callie had ever experienced. Love, passion, and a weakness for butterfly covered scrub caps, all directed towards a certain blonde had completely enveloped her and made her feel more complete than she had in her entire life.

But now? Now she was empty, because all of those pieces were taken from her and whisked away faster than a plane to Malawi.

Work was the only thing keeping her afloat, but now even that wasn't enough. After spending a solid 50 hours at the hospital, Callie was finally sent home. Not that it felt like home anymore. Her home was now living halfway across the world and there was nothing she could do about it.

So instead there she sat, in her empty bed in her empty apartment feeling nothing but empty.

Just empty. Because feeling anything else simply hurt too much.

She was suddenly pulled from her thoughts when her cell phone began vibrating on the nightstand. Sitting up against the headboard, she turned on the lamp and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Even her voice sounded empty these days.

A few seconds passed in silence until finally, she heard a sad sigh from the other end of the line. "Calliope…"

And just like that she was full again as all of the emotions she had been trying to avoid came crashing into her all at once. "Arizona?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me. I just- I got home and dialed your number before I even realized what I was doing, but then I didn't want to hang up. I um- I needed to hear your voice." Covering her mouth she paused to stifle the sob of relief that ripped through her body. "God, it's so good to hear your voice, Calliope."

As soon as the phone started ringing Arizona knew it was probably a mistake, but now she didn't even care. Because even just after two simple words, she knew it was worth all of the pain and confusion just to hear her love's voice one more time.

Callie ran a hand through her damp hair as her broken heart hammered in her chest. "It's-It's good to hear your voice too."

"Yeah? I was scared you weren't going to pick up. I thought you would be too mad to talk to me."

"I'm not mad. I'm just…"

"What?"

_Lost. Devastated. Broken._ Those words barely began to describe her life now.

"I'm just sad, Arizona."

Hearing Callie's trembling voice broke Arizona's heart all over again. She hated seeing her in pain, and she hated even more to be the reason for that pain. "I've only ever wanted to make you happy. I'm so sorry I can't do that anymore."

"Me too. Me too. I'm sorry I never even congratulated you. I never showed it, but I am so proud of you." She had every reason to play the victim here. She was the one who was left in an airport with no job, no home, no girlfriend, but after weeks of tears, heartache, and soul searching, Callie knew it wasn't that simple. That it takes two people to get to such a point.

And what did it matter who's fault it was anyway? She was here and Arizona was there. Casting blame wouldn't change that.

A silent moment passed as if the two women were taking it all in. Finally digesting what their lives had become. Closure was good. It was healthy even, but that didn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Brushing off a stray tear, the blonde finally broke the sad silence, "This is hard, isn't it?" Understatement of the year, she thought.

"Yeah. Yeah, this is hard." Not even when they had just begun dating were things this stressed or this awkward. "Um how- how are you?"

"I'm fine." Arizona replied. It had become her mantra over there, constantly telling herself that she was good, that she was fine. But saying it then had sounded just as flat and forged as it had the other ten thousand times she said it. She wondered if Callie could hear the lie in her voice too.

From her bed she looked around her small and empty bedroom. The tiny house she stayed in was nothing to be desired. It wasn't home, and it never would be. There was no warmth, or comfort, or love, and the moments where she wasn't surrounded by medicine were the hardest parts of her day. This was definitely not the way she envisioned her life turning out.

"Sometimes at night I dream about what our life would look like if- if I would have stayed. We'd have kids, all kinds of kids Calliope. And we'd live in a big house, and they would all be running around the backyard while you and I watched from the porch swing. I really wanted that life with you, Calliope. Please know that. I wanted it so much."

"I know, Arizona." The tears were now flowing freely down her tan cheeks. She dreamed about that life too. It had been so close it was nearly palpable. They almost really had it all.

Almost.

"Calliope I lov–"

"Please- Please don't say you love me." Callie's voice was a desperate plea.

"But I do, though."

Callie didn't even try to stop it as a sob broke through, and her body crumpled lower into the bed. Even though she could hear the love apparent in Arizona's voice, there was no way she could hear those three words. Not anymore.

Not when she couldn't say it back.

"I know you do, sweetheart." That was all that Callie could give her right now.

It wasn't that she didn't love Arizona. No, it was the complete opposite. Even thinking those three words seemed to tear through Callie's heart every time. She loved her more wholly and fiercely than she had ever loved anyone before, and Callie knew she always would.

So no, she couldn't say it back. Not when it hurt this much.

"Can I at least tell you that I miss you?"

Callie managed a sad smile through her tears, "I miss you too."

Arizona let out a heavy sigh as she ran her fingers over her heart-shaped necklace. This was it. This was goodbye. Hanging up that phone would be the hardest thing she ever had to do.

"It must be pretty late over there… I guess- I better let you go. Thank you for talking to me. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Of course. It means a lot to me too." Callie bit her trembling lip and waited for the blow to hit home.

"Goodbye Calliope." And there it was.

"Goodbye Arizona." _I love you too. _

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**Thoughts? **

**P.S. Who's excited for Grey's this Thursday?! Almost there!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sooo, this story was only going to be a one shot, but I decided to add some more to it. The new plan is to make it five or six chapters (because that is all I really have the attention span for). I know it has been a while, but hopefully someone is still out there that wants to read this. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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Callie closed the door to her apartment, hanging up her coat and purse before she collapsed onto the couch with a sigh. Tonight had been a bust. Her persistent friends had been trying to get her out of her depressive funk for months. After constantly rejecting everyone's random set ups and Mark's stupid palate cleanser, Callie finally agreed to go out on a date. The very next day Teddy set her up with a nurse from dermatology.

So she dressed up, went to dinner, and made small talk like she was expected to. Her date was kind, and pretty, and smart, but Callie's heart just wasn't in it. How could it be? She gave her whole heart to a perky blonde peds surgeon and has yet to get it back.

She did her best to pretend she was moving on, and at times she really wished she could. She never felt lonelier than she did now. Sure she had her friends at the hospital, but at the end of the day she went to bed alone with nothing left to do but think about everything that might have been. Never had she experienced a love so deep, and pure, and magical. How was she supposed to just let it go?

If only she knew how.

Callie grabbed her cell phone from the coffee table, ready to invite Mark over for some heavy drinking, when the phone started vibrating unexpectedly in her hand. She swiped the screen and put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

And just like in her dreams, the sweetest voice filled her ears – a voice she hadn't heard in over six months, "Hi, Callie."

"Arizona…" she whispered, her chest tight with emotion.

"Yeah, yeah it's me again." There was no denying the awkward silence that encompassed them – silence full of the bitter pain of two lovers who knew it would never be. Back during simpler times, the silences were close and comfortable. Back when they were happy and hopelessly in love.

If only that had been enough.

Callie ran a hand through her hair as she sunk lower into the couch, unable to determine if her night had taken a turn for the better or the worse. Arizona's last call had left her reeling for days. "I uh- I'm sorry I don't really know what to say." She offered awkwardly.

"It's okay. I know it's pretty out of the blue." She closed her eyes and took a breath. Even after all these months the sound of Callie's voice managed to calm Arizona. During her time with Callie, she had never felt more at peace. Lying alone at night, she often thought about the nights after the particularly tough cases, when she was certain the tiny coffins would haunt her dreams. Callie would wrap her in her arms and whisper sweet songs in her ear. She would place the softest kiss on her lips and remind her of all the kids she would save tomorrow. And once the tears were gone, Callie would worship her body in the most tender way she had ever experienced.

Callie kept her grounded. And even from a world away, Callie's voice was able to make Arizona feel more at peace than she had in half a year. She shouldn't have been so surprised; she loved Callie and she knew she always would. The dismal finality of their situation got the better of her sometimes.

"I'm going to be in Seattle for a few days." She stated rather abruptly. It definitely wasn't the speech she had practiced, but with Callie she never could stick to what she had planned.

"You're coming to Seattle? When?" That was the last thing Callie expected to hear from the woman on the other line.

Callie's voice was smooth and even, and Arizona was unable to gage her reaction. She considered it a success that the brunette hadn't hung up on her already.

"I arrive later this week. I am supposed to meet with some members of the Carter Maddison foundation to discuss my progress and the future plans for the grant."

An inarticulate "Oh" was all Callie could muster. Arizona was coming to Seattle. The thought alone both excited and unsettled her. She was in no way prepared for this.

"Yeah… I um- I know you're probably really busy, but I would really like to see you, Callie."

A few seconds of silence passed and Arizona wondered if Callie was still there.

"Yeah. I would like that too." Callie admitted before she could change her mind. It was either tell the truth or act indifferent to protect her heart, she chose the former. "I would really like that." Just the thought of it made her chest flutter in anticipation.

Arizona breathed a sigh of relief. "Great. So I'll uh- I'll call you when I get to Seattle?"

"Yeah. That sounds good."

"Okay, I'll see you soon, Callie."

"Bye, Arizona."

Although their interaction was short and brief, for the first time in six months, both women went to bed with a smile on their face.

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A few days later Callie sat down on the couch with a bowl of ice cream ready to catch up on all of the tv she had missed. It was her first day off in weeks and she was ready to take advantage of the much needed time to relax. Although she had only just woken up a couple hours ago, it was early afternoon and in her mind that made the sweet treat an acceptable breakfast.

Just as she was starting her third episode of New Girl, a knock sounded at her apartment door. Assuming it was just the mail man needing another signature, she gave no mind to her baggy loungewear and answered the door. What she found on the other side completely evaded all of her expectations.

"Arizona…"

"Hey," the blonde smiled timidly.

"I uh- I thought you were going to call when you got in…"

Her decision to visit Callie had been rash and probably unwise. She had planned to wait a few days before calling the brunette and inviting her to coffee or something equally as tame, but somehow on the way to her hotel she wound up here. Judging by Callie's stunned appearance, she probably should have thought it through more thoroughly.

Or thought it through at all.

She had been on autopilot after leaving the airport, and now she was at Callie's, her nerves shot and heart beating out of her chest.

Callie continued to look at her as she continued to panic, so she rambled. "I did say that. I know, but I just wanted to see you. And- and I know that it's selfish, but I didn't want to give you the chance to say no. So I didn't call, and now here I am… You look really pretty."

Callie just stared at her silently too stunned to make a move.

After another moment of silence passed, Arizona's shoulders sagged, and her gaze shifted to the floor. "Right. This was a stupid idea. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking." She mumbled as she turned around and started down the hallway.

Arizona made it halfway down the hall before the shock passed and Callie finally registered the fleeing woman.

"Arizona stop!" she yelled as she chased the blonde down the hall.

Arizona froze immediately. She turned around slowly as Callie caught up to her. Her pale cheeks burned red with embarrassment and her watery blue eyes looked everywhere but at the woman standing in front of her.

"Where do you think you're going?

"I don't know. To check in to my hotel, I guess."

Callie smiled softly at Arizona, finally taking a second to really look at her. Her skin was darker, her hair lighter, and her collarbone seemed even more prominent on her thin frame. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun, and her face was clean of any makeup. That paired with the backpack hanging from her left shoulder, it was obvious Arizona had come straight from the airport.

"Arizona, please come inside. You have got to be exhausted."

Blue eyes finally met brown as she offered a small smile. "Okay."

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**Thanks to all of you who have continued to read this after all this time! The next chapter is pretty much done, so it definitely won't be as long between updates. **

**Oh, and reviews are awesome! They definitely make me write faster :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Your responses to last chapter were awesome. Here is chapter 3. Enjoy :) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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As they entered the apartment, Callie took Arizona's bag and set it on the coffee table. "Um- go ahead and have a seat. I'm gonna go grab us something to drink."

Nodding, Arizona turned toward the living room while Callie went to the kitchen. She glanced around the room and it was like she never left. Oh, how easy it would be to fall back into this life. Back into life with Callie. Back when everything made sense.

But she had lost that right the moment she left for Africa. She deserved to be alone after what she'd done, but that didn't make it any easier.

Arizona noticed the picture of them from their third date still sitting on the end table and smiled at the sweet memory it held. It was the first sunny day in Seattle in two weeks, and Callie took her hiking around one of the national parks. They held hands and chatted as they got to know one another. That day was the first time Arizona knew she had found something special.

Found someone special.

Callie was both charming and goofy, and had a contagious curiosity that left Arizona completely enamored. The way Callie looked at her that day, there wasn't a better feeling like it.

It was the same way she was looking at her now.

Callie had reentered the living room with two bottles of water, tearing Arizona from her memories. She set the water on the table and turned towards the blonde. "It's really good to see you."

Arizona nodded and smiled. "It's good to see you too."

There were no words to describe how good it felt. After months of separation, of lonely, tear filled nights, here she was back in the apartment with the woman she loved.

She was so close she could reach out and touch her.

"Can I- can I hug you?" she whispered.

Callie's heart clenched in her chest as she nodded. "Yeah."

Then Arizona's arms were around her. Their eyes closed as they breathed each other in. The familiarity nearly too much to bear. They stood there for what felt like minutes just being. And almost as if it was out of her control, Arizona turned her head and placed a delicate kiss to the base of Callie's neck.

They pulled apart slowly, faces flushed, breathing deeply. It was Callie who spoke first.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?"

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For hours they got lost in conversation, touching on work, friends, and Callie's research. Callie even filled Arizona in on the latest gossip at the hospital. Dinner was long gone, but they stayed at the table talking and drinking wine. It was surprising how easy it all felt, but then again it really wasn't. When you connect with another person so completely, so entirely, a part of that never goes away. It stays in you as a part of the million things that mold you. It holds you as the person you are today and shapes you into who you will be tomorrow.

The only subject they had yet to talk about was Africa, and Callie knew Arizona was avoiding it because of her. "You can talk about it, you know? Malawi. I want to hear about all the lives your changing. All the tiny humans you're saving."

Arizona looked at Callie surprised. She thought she was oblivious to her conscious avoidance. "You really want to hear about it?"

Callie smiled as she took a sip of her wine. "I do. I really am proud of you."

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means to hear you say that." Even then, Callie's opinion seemed to be the only one that mattered to her. Back when she won the award, all she wanted was for Callie to be proud of her and celebrate together. Hearing those words now warmed Arizona's heart.

"The clinic is helping so many people over there. We really are making a difference, Callie. And it feels really really good."

"I'm not surprised. You are truly talented, Arizona, and you deserve all of it."

Looking into brown eyes, Arizona saw nothing but sincerity and adoration. Callie's kindness never ceased to amaze her. "How are you so wonderful about all of this?" Arizona asked in awe.

Callie's arm reached across the table, her hand coming to rest on top of Arizona's as she gave a gentle squeeze. "I just want you to be happy."

Arizona regarded the warm hand on her own, and turned hers upwards to trace circles along the back of Callie's hand. _You make me happy._

Arizona pulled her hand back suddenly. This was all too comfortable, and she knew she would become too bold if she stayed any longer. She couldn't go there again. Not when she would be leaving in a few days.

"I should probably go." She stated as she stood from the table. "I still have to get checked into my hotel. Hopefully my luggage arrived there already."

Nodding, Callie stood up and followed Arizona out of the kitchen. "Thanks for stopping by, Arizona. It was really nice to talk to you."

Arizona turned around as she reached the apartment door. "Yeah it really was. So, I guess- I guess I'll see you."

Callie stood motionless, her voice soft as she spoke. Saying goodbye was proving to be harder than she expected. "Yeah. I'll see you."

As Arizona reached for the door knob, Callie stepped forward, her hands grabbing slim hips as she turned Arizona to face her. Without a word she dipped her head and kissed Arizona insistently. Arizona was here, standing in her apartment. She couldn't let her go without kissing her one more time. For all she knew, Arizona could be gone again tomorrow, so right now she would take whatever she could get.

Arizona responded instantly, her soft lips molding against Callie's. They kissed softly for a few seconds before Arizona pulled away and rested her forehead against Callie's. "What are you doing?" she questioned breathlessly.

Callie's hand found Arizona's face as she gently brushed her thumb across a flushed cheek. "I'm sorry. I just had to feel you one more time."

Arizona closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "Callie, I'll be leaving again." She practically pleaded.

"I know. Right now I just want any time I can have with you. Even if it is only one night."

Arizona opened her eyes to find brown ones staring intently, almost longingly. She had dreamed of this on numerous occasions. Of kissing Callie. Of feeling her once more. But never in her wildest dreams did she think she would ever have the chance again. And now they were standing so close she could feel Callie's breath on her face. Their closeness both frightened and excited her.

Taking a deep breath, Arizona reached up and brushed a lock of dark hair from Callie's face. Callie smiled at her touch, and Arizona couldn't fight it anymore. She didn't want to. So she pushed her hand into Callie's hair and pulled her mouth to hers. Responding immediately, Callie moaned as Arizona's mouth opened and her soft tongue swept across her lips. Tan hands found Arizona's hips once again as she pushed her up against the door and began trailing open kisses down her smooth neck. Tipping her head back to revel in Callie's kisses, Arizona's hands grabbed at her back pulling the brunette impossibly closer.

"Callie, I lov-"

"Don't." Callie breathed before crushing her lips into Arizona's. "Please don't. Just kiss me." She pleaded. If she could only have Arizona for one night she would take it, but she couldn't afford to open up those flood gates again.

Arizona complied, kissing her fiercely, choosing to lose herself in Callie without words. Fingers roamed and hands explored as they shared their own perfected dance that had become almost instinctual.

They made love several times before succumbing to sheer exhaustion. Sweaty and sated they lay tangled together in the middle of the bed, both completely at peace. Arizona lay asleep half on top of Callie. Her leg was tucked between Callie's thighs and her arm was draped across her waist.

Callie ran her hand along a pale back as she whispered, "Good night, Arizona." _I love you too._

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**Sooo lovelies, what do you guys think? Let me hear it! Thanks for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Thanks again to everyone who is enjoying this story! I am loving all of the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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Arizona lay awake in the quiet bedroom. It was early and she had been awake for nearly an hour watching Callie sleep. The sun was just starting to rise, and rays of light were seeping in through the blinds, the particles of dust floating like minute snowflakes in the early morning light. Callie lay unmoving on her stomach, the sheets pulled down enough to reveal her toned back and the side of a caramel breast. Her dark hair was ruffled and had fallen across her face. To Arizona there was not a more beautiful sight. Of this she was sure.

She had always hated it when Callie watched her sleep, but now that she was here, she couldn't look away. Last night, while completely unexpected, was perfect. Callie touched her, kissed her, made love to her. She swore she could still feel her skin burning. Callie held her as she fell asleep, and it was the most peaceful sleep she had gotten in over half a year.

"God I missed you." She breathed, staring at the sleeping woman. Arizona didn't even realize how much until she was there. Being there with Callie she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest. She could finally breathe again.

Her bed in Malawi was small and cold. Most nights she avoided its dreadful loneliness by sleeping at the hospital, on her couch, or on a few occasions, sprawled out over patient charts on her desk. She had forgotten how good it felt to share a bed with someone. The simple act of sharing the same space made her feel happy and safe, and the fact that it was Callie next to her was more wonderful than she could put into words.

Refocusing on the woman next to her, she found sleepy brown eyes staring back at her. While Arizona knew she should be embarrassed to be caught staring, she still couldn't look away.

"Hey pretty girl." She smiled, running her thumb across Callie's cheek and jaw.

Closing her eyes again, Callie smiled sleepily and curled into Arizona's body. These were some of her favorite times. Seeing Callie so bare and so vulnerable. She loved that Callie only revealed that side to her. Just as only Callie could bring out her own vulnerability.

"Mmm, good morning." Callie whispered her eyes open again, giving up the fight against wakefulness.

They sat in comfortable silence taking in the events of the previous night. Callie's head on Arizona's chest as she listened to the soft music of her heartbeat.

"Are you okay?" The blonde asked while tracing her fingers across Callie's palm.

Callie nodded. "I'm perfect. Are you okay?"

"Uh huh. I'm a little sore though." She replied, stretching her tired body and groaning as a result.

Callie just chuckled and tightened her grip on the blonde's waist. "I'm not sorry for that."

In one swift motion Arizona rolled out of Callie's hold and on top of the brunette, her dimples on full display as she smiled from her position above Callie. "Mmm, you never have to be sorry for that."

The familiarity of the moment was not lost on Callie. This felt like just another day with Arizona. It felt just like before.

Before everything went so terribly wrong.

They would often spend their Sunday mornings cuddling lazily in bed. Sleepy, bedhead Arizona was one of her favorites. She was always more open and earnest in the early morning light, before reality set in and her walls went up. Sleepy Arizona had a childlike innocence. Her smile was freer, her eyes brighter. The difference was a subtle one, visible to no one but Callie.

It was in those mornings where Arizona would hold her close and promise her forever. Mornings where Arizona would kiss her softly and tell her she had her whole heart. That she trusted her truly and completely.

Those kind of mornings were perfect. She woke up to Arizona and that was all she needed to be so ridiculously happy. Callie never thought she would have another morning with her. She had never been happier to be wrong.

Sensing the mood shift from playful to serious, Arizona leaned in to brush her nose against Callie's. "Calliope, are you sure you're okay?"

Brown eyes find blue as Callie reached up and pushed back the blonde curtain of hair that was surrounding them. Hands on pale cheeks, she sighed, "This just doesn't feel real."

"I know what you mean. But I'm really glad it is." Arizona replied, placing a gentle kiss on soft red lips, their bare breasts brushing as she leaned in. Moaning as the blonde pressed further into her, Callie's mouth opened letting in her lover's needy tongue.

They kissed just like that for many minutes, neither pushing for more. Neither needing more. There they held each other, perfectly content in their own private world. One where Malawi didn't exist and forever was their reality, not a dead and distant dream.

It was Arizona who pulled back first. Giggling as she felt Callie's roaming hands stop to rest on her backside. "Do you work today?" she asked, secretly wondering how much time she had with Callie. Her silent prayer was answered when the brunette shook her head in the negative.

"Nope. I'm off for the next few days."

"Mmm, perfect."

Stealing one more kiss Arizona finally rolled off of Callie and onto her side, her hand draped across a soft tan stomach. When blue eyes dropped her gaze, Callie could feel the mood change.

"So…" Arizona started. "the foundation is hosting a banquet tomorrow night – to celebrate all of the good work that is being done. Lots of wine and a fancy dinner. Maybe some dancing…"

Callie just nodded silently, not quite sure where the conversation was going.

"Will you- will you come with me? Be my date?" she asked in a whisper. Arizona held her breath as soon as the words left her mouth. Callie was the only person she wanted there. She was the only one whose praises mattered. And if she was being really honest, she didn't want to spend any more time away from Callie than she had to while she was in Seattle.

"Um…" Callie stalled, clearly surprised by the question.

"It's – It's okay if you don't want to. No big deal. It's a Saturday night. You- you probably already have a date or something." The blonde backtracked in a panic, her nervous rambling appearing once again.

"I don't have a date. I do want to be your date though."

"You do?"

"Of course I do." Callie smiled and took Arizona's hand.

Arizona smiled softly and placed a soft kiss to Callie's cheek. "Thank you."

Running a hand through messy blonde hair, Callie pulled Arizona in for a deep, slow kiss. Slowly they got lost in each other once again, choosing to blatantly ignore the rest of the world, and the reality that was looming just outside of their perfect moment.

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**Slower chapter, I know, but it is needed to set up for the drama coming up. Let me know what you guys think! Are they making a mistake? What are they going to do once reality hits them?**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thanks for all the love for this story! Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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Time is a mesmerizingly curious thing. We measure it, watch it as it propels every aspect of our day. We wish for it to speed up and slow down, although it never complies. There are moments where time seems to stand still, and others where it flies by.

It is amazing how something intangible can be so powerful. It is so precious and so valuable that some would give anything just to have a little more time. Time reveals itself in the setting sun, the changing leaves, and the wrinkles on a loved one's face, carefully reminding you that it is in control.

They say time heals all wounds, but for Callie, six months' time had yet to lessen the pain of losing the love of her life. To Callie it seemed crazy how in those six months, time couldn't go fast enough, but her time with Arizona seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

After their night of endless lovemaking, the two women spent the rest of the morning in bed just talking, touching, and laughing. It was almost as if those six months of separation never happened.

Almost.

All too soon their pretty bubble was burst when Arizona had to leave for her afternoon meetings. The next day passed without any contact from the blonde but a phone call confirming their plans for the banquet the next night. And that is how Callie found herself collapsed in an exasperated heap on her bed with an entire closet's worth of clothes strewn around her room. The banquet was that night and she had absolutely nothing to wear.

Not to mention the day and a half she spent alone thinking and processing did little to help her remain calm.

Ever since Arizona showed up at her door Callie had been fighting with herself and her inherent need to process and think out loud, which was something she normally turned to Mark for. It wasn't even his advice she sought from him. It was the opportunity to voice her thoughts and doubts out loud without rambling to herself in Spanish like a crazy person. But this time, as much as she ached to process with her best friend, she couldn't bring herself to do so.

So far her time with Arizona had been like a dream. Sweet, loving, and perfect like the pretty, pink bubble they used to live in. In Callie's mind it was romantic and amazing, and telling Mark would make it far too real.

Making it real would make her hopeful, and Callie didn't do hopeful – at least not anymore. Time had taught her it was a wasted emotion. Being hopeful of a future with the one you love, of marriage, kids, and the white picket fence didn't prevent you from being abandoned in crowded airport terminals. Being hopeful got her nowhere. So she chose to live in the moment. No dreams, no expectations, and no disappointment.

She decided she would spend her time with Arizona living in the moment – not thinking about the past or the future. She could be cool, calm, and collected and simply enjoy Arizona's company while she could. And when Arizona left again, she would be no better or worse off than she was before. Tonight Arizona wasn't her girlfriend or even the woman she loved. Tonight they were going to be two friends who drank and danced and had fun.

And that was okay.

Callie was okay.

If only she could find something to wear.

* * *

Arizona was nervous. She was about to spend the evening in a room full of strangers who would all be staring and talking about her. Given that the small shack of a bar in Malawi was the only place to entertain some type of social life, it had been forever since she dressed up for a real night out. But now she was out of her medicine in Malawi bubble wearing heels and a floor length dress with a face full of makeup, and she was nervous. She had no idea how her project would be perceived by other people and no idea how the night would go. The clinic was her baby and deep down she hoped others would be as excited about it as she was.

The only thing that kept her grounded was Callie's warm hand in hers as they walked up to the front doors. When she picked up Callie outside of her apartment half an hour ago she had been anxious and on edge. She stood there asking herself what the hell she was doing, if she should really risking opening old wounds for a few days of fun, but when Callie walked out in her elegant black dress, Arizona knew she could never stay away. One radiant smile from the brunette and all her fears subsided. She was going to enjoy this night with Callie, and everything else could wait.

Arizona stopped and turned to Callie as they made their way through the entrance. Her eyes quickly met Callie's before focusing on the floor between them. "I'm nervous." She whispered. "Like _really_ nervous."

Stepping forward Callie brought her hands up to the blonde's bare shoulders and squeezed them lovingly. "Arizona, you are great. You are amazing, and everyone here is going to think so too."

"Thank you, Callie." She breathed.

"Anytime. Now hurry up and go make your rounds so you can dance with me."

* * *

After dutifully making conversation with the board members of the foundation, Arizona excused herself to return to her date. As she looked around the room she spotted Callie standing a few tables away laughing with a group of people. It never ceased to amaze her how Callie could light up a room. Her dark, soulful eyes and wide smile were enough to win anyone over in a matter of seconds. They were certainly enough to win Arizona over in a dirty bar bathroom. In the beginning of their relationship, she tried to brush it off and tell herself she was being smart by turning Callie down and calling her a newborn, but deep down she knew that in that bathroom, Calliope Torres began to slowly steal her heart.

Slowly she made her way over to the table. She reached the group as Callie turned to place her drink on the table. Arizona gently placed a hand on the brunette's back and leaned in. "Dance with me?"

Smiling as she felt Arizona's warm breath against her ear, Callie nodded and let the blonde lead her to the dance floor. There they swayed slowly to the music as they held each other as close as possible.

Turning her head slightly Callie was met with Arizona's deep and serious gaze. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Arizona smiled at the question, her blue eyes never leaving Callie's. "I'm looking at you like this because you're beautiful, Calliope. You are breathtakingly stunning, and I can't keep my eyes off of you."

"Arizona…" she sighed as the praise brought a soft blush to her cheeks.

"I mean it. I find you miraculous, and I'm so happy you're here with me tonight."

"You are they one that everyone is looking at, Arizona. You're a pretty big deal."

Arizona smiled and shook her head at the compliment. "I can't believe that this many people are excited about the work I'm doing, Callie. They are even talking about starting three more clinics like the one in Malawi. Can you believe it?"

Callie could believe it. Everyone at the party spoke so highly of Arizona. They raved about the amazing work Dr. Robbins was doing and all the tiny African babies she was saving. There was no doubt there would be more awards in her future. Arizona had been mingling and gracefully accepting praises all night long - every person at the party jumping at the chance to talk to an actual Carter Madison winner. Arizona had become one of the highest praised doctors in the medical community, and she hadn't stopped smiling the entire night.

Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit Callie like a freight train. Arizona was living the dream. Every person in the room was here for her, because Arizona had been given unlimited funds to save the tiny humans of Malawi – just like she always wanted.

Arizona was living her dream, and Callie wasn't in it.

The startling realization hurt even more than being left in an airport. Because Callie had dreams too. Dreams of a wife and kids and the big house. Dreams of growing old with the woman she loved. Arizona had been in every aspect of her dreams. Arizona was the dream – her dream.

But now? Now she realized that those dreams were nothing but silly fantasies. Because Arizona had her own dream and Callie wasn't a part of it.

And now Callie felt like a fool.

Feeling a drop of wetness on her shoulder, Arizona stopped and turned to the head that was now tucked into the crook of her neck. She stepped back slightly and cupped her hands against Callie's tear stained cheeks. "Callie, what's wrong?"

Callie shook her head and stepped back from the embrace while trying to fight back more tears. "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this, but I can't. I um- I have to go, I'm sorry." She turned to leave but was stopped when Arizona grabbed her hand.

"Callie, please-" she pleaded, her eyes full of hurt and confusion. "Just wait a minute and I'll leave with you. Okay?"

The tears were now running freely down Callie's cheeks. She was hurt and embarrassed and she needed to get away as soon as possible. "No. Please don't, Arizona. You stay and enjoy your party. I have to go."

With that she turned and walked away, leaving Arizona at a giant loss. She was standing in a room full of people and she had never felt more alone.

* * *

**Looks like both our girls are hurt and confused. It may be time to finally stop and think about what they are doing yeah?**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. You guys are great!**


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